2012 In Motorsport (We Didn't Start The Car III)

2012 has been a busy year in racing, so what better way to look back on 12 months of on and off track action than to blend 70 (yep, I counted) of the top (and otherwise) stories of the (mostly) international racing stories in a terrifying array of rhyming couplets.

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Seb Vettel, Ryan Hunter-Reay, Rob Huff and Brad K
 J Lorenzo, Aussie Whincup, Sebastien Loeb

Gordon Shedden, Romain Grosjean, World Rally on television
Brand new leader South Korea, title on the way

Podium F-Bomb, Toyota lead at Le Mans
Ambrose, The King, The Glen, winners in Sprint Cup again

Fallen schumi off scene, Lewis to a new team
Merc off to Australia, DTM for Beamer

We didn’t start the car
The fuel started burning
Wheels have started turning
We didn’t start the car
No we didn’t start it
But we’ll try to park it

Caterham get better of Charles Pic with Petrov
Grab umbrella crappy weather, Silverstone block

Whitmarsh says Perez, in comes Gutierrez
R8 – N-Ring – Twice around the clock

A.J. comes clean, Dodge have got the winning team
Last lap at Bathurst, Wilson wins at Fort Worth

Norbert Budapest, Villota crash in test
Massa’s pace, out of place, trouble with the gearbox

We didn’t start the car
The fuel started burning
Wheels have started turning
We didn’t start the car
No we didn’t start it
But we’ll try to park it

Mini splits, Peugeot quits, Lola cars are in the pits
LMS fields poor, F1 postpones Jersey, sure

Davidson’s Mulsanne flip, Doc’s gone on a fishing trip
Tears over the Delta Wing, forget the ‘will it turn’ thing

Lotterer and Fassler, champions with Benoit
Tony’s helmet throw, Body kits a no-go

‘Tona dryer jet fire, Grosjean draws the Spa ire
Going wrong at Juncao, Leave Kimi alone now

We didn’t start the car
The fuel started burning
Wheels have started turning
We didn’t start the car
No we didn’t start it
But we’ll try to park it

Ugly cars that can win, Sato in a late spin
Petit, WE-C, Rebel in invasion

Chevy out of touring cars, Britons balance turbo bars
Sir Frank Delight, Gordon and the Phoenix fight

Red Bull front wing flex, Mike Shank wins the Rolex
HRT gone away what could save them anyway?

We didn’t start the car
The fuel started burning
Wheels have started turning
We didn’t start the car
No we didn’t start it
But we’ll try to park it

Lotus Indy engine, Power misses out again
Rosberg, Ostberg, D’aste Salzburg
Twitter bitter penalty, do not share telemetry
Ratel makes the final call, GT1 goes to the wall

Bottas get the F1 ride, cleaning up the track with Tide
Fuel checks, Cassill lets rip as Patrick wrecks
Belle Isle surface comes apart, NASCAR’s still got start and parks
End of US sportscars wars – I can’t take it anymore!

We didn’t start the car
The fuel started burning
Wheels have started turning
We didn’t start the car
No we didn’t start it
But we’ll try to park it

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None the wiser? Find Billy Joel's 'We Didn't Start The Fire' and prepare to sing along.

N.B. I was going to write something to the tune of 'It's The End of the World As We Know It' by R.E.M., but you can't understand a word Michael Stipe says.